Anywhere But Here

Evening, Reader.

The problem that I have had for most of my life is wishing I were anywhere but where I was. Whether I was at school, at home, at work, or at a friend's house, I'd wish I were somewhere else. When it was time to go to college, I chose a university three thousand miles away, in order to get out of where I was. Then, I realized you can't run from yourself. 

The very thing that makes you you can't be changed by your environment, your friends, or even your actions. You are more than your surroundings, and it has taken me this long to realize it. When people ask me if I'm happy at college, I feel compelled to answer yes because it's not the college that makes me unhappy; it's myself.

I haven't written in a while because I forgot and then fell ill, but I need a therapeutic output. I have lost two friends this year. And I realized that it must be me. I'm a terrible friend. I wouldn't be friends with myself if I met myself say in a class or at a party.

Smile,
My Little One

"Rude" by MAGIC! Review

Greetings, Reader.

I was driving home from work this morning when my LEAST favorite pop song came on in the car: "Rude" by MAGIC! I can appreciate the song's catchy rhythm coupled with the lead singer's melodious voice, but this song sends absolutely the worst message to listeners.

To put it in context, the song is about a boy asking a girl's father for her hand in marriage. The boy says, "Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing til the day I die, Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is 'no'," in which he is relaying what the father said to him. Then, he breaks into the chorus, starting with, "Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too?" 

Did I miss something? Where exactly was the father being rude? Just because he gave you an answer that you didn't like doesn't mean he was being rude to you. Plus, we know you're human, duh. Even if you were a dog, he wouldn't give you permission to marry his daughter. 

He caps off the chorus with, "I'm gonna marry her anyway...No matter what you say." SO WHY EVEN BOTHER ASKING?! You clearly don't respect the opinion of her father, so why do you deserve the love and respect of his daughter?

He then talks about eloping with the girl, AS IF THAT SOLVES THE PROBLEM, and he cites, "You know she's in love with me, She will go anywhere I go." Is that supposed to be a threat? Like let her marry me, or she'll do it anyway?

So the pre-chorus repeats two more times, changing the last line to "Tough luck, my friend, 'cause the answer's still 'no' " and "Tough luck, my friend, but 'no' still means 'no'!". Let's think about this, so the first time the boy asks, the father says no. The second time he asks, the father says still no. The third time he asks, the father says, "'No' still means 'No'!" Yet, the boy continues to call the father rude. First of all, being disrespectful isn't going to get him to change his mind. Next, when we think about applying this logic to his relationships, is this how the boy treats everyone? No always means no, and that's an important point for this boy to understand, in all situations. I fear for the girl he is wooing in this song. No wonder why her father feels the need to protect her from this guy!

The song criticizes the father for being "old-fashioned," and brings up modern feelings about asking permission to marry, but it neglects to understand how pushy the boy is being in the situation. Maybe, if you tried being nicer and more of a gentleman all the time instead of just when you want something, the father would be more likely to give permission.

I definitely don't think this should be anyone's "summer jam" or any type of anthem due to the message it conveys while trying to be cute. Yeah, we get it that the boy loves her and wants to marry her, but when does it pass respect and become rude? Coincidentally (or not), in this song, "Rude."

Smile,
My Little One

Thirty

Hi Reader,

Small milestones are always the most important milestones. This blog has recently reached thirty views, and I know it can't be from me clicking on the refresh button thirty times because there are views from Germany and Poland (holla to y'all!). But at this rate, no one still knows who I am, or why I am. I am still writing this blog for me, and no one knows about it.

Thirty is one of my favorite numbers of all time. It's included in many of my passwords and usernames (shhh) and it's divisible by 2,3,5,6,10, and 15. I feel like if there ever is a time to celebrate, why not now? Why not this moment? So many people wait around for the time to be special instead of making the time special. If you assign special meaning to anything, it automatically becomes special.

So thirty is special to me. This time is cause for celebration.

Smile,
My Little One

Risk and Reward

Good Evening, Reader.

One day last week, I got really bored at my day job, so (after updating my list of future baby names) I created a graph of risk versus reward. I drew a line in the middle and began to plot points of activities based on how much risk versus how much reward they would provide.

It seemed like a great idea when I first put simple tasks such as studying and cleaning as low risk and high reward. Then, it became complicated as I tried to think of examples of high risk and low reward. Mostly everything with a high risk I can think of has a high reward accompanying it... such as robbing a bank or skydiving.

Everything with a high risk can be worth doing, if you're willing to take the initial risk and deal with the consequences if the actions turn south. But what if you're not ready to face the consequences? Is it still worth the risk? Can you even be sure the reward is as good as you imagine it to be?

Smile,
My Little One

My Sons and Daughters

Hi Reader,

"A dream is a wish your heart makes."

One strange thing that keeps appearing in my dreams is babies. I will see my "own" children (in the context of the dream) or I will dream that I am babysitting others' children. Last night, I had a dream that I just gave birth to a baby, and was discussing potential names with a little boy whom I understood to be my son in the dream. My sister had also had a baby the day after me in my dream.

Danielle. Benjamin. Baby Cora. Bianca. How does my mind just make up my offspring in my dream?

I have an irrational belief that I will have an autistic child. Whenever I tell close friends and family of this premonition, I often get responses of "don't say that!" or "you don't know that for sure!" However, it is one thing that I am quite certain of for the future. The best part is that it doesn't upset me; I know I will love my children regardless and provide them with anything they need.

I must stop writing. My sister's birthday cake is ready to be frosted.

Smile,
My Little One

Villains

Attention: Reader,

One of my favorite quotes is from one of my favorite people: Shakespeare. Whether or not the writer actually existed is up to my high school research paper, but regardless, the quote goes, "One may smile and smile and be a villain."

I feel my smile, complete with my two dimples on the corners of my chin, and constantly ask myself if there is a villain underneath. Yes, I usually do have ulterior motives, but I usually make those pretty known. Yes, I do firmly believe that there should be a plague, because it would be....cool for research, right? In no means do I wish to get rid of some of the annoying people on the planet. No way.

Sorry, I coughed on a bit of sarcasm there.

However, I believe that there is good and bad in everyone, and even the concept of what is "good" and what is "bad" has been socially constructed throughout history. But exactly how much "bad" makes someone a villain?

Smile,
My Little One

Strange Satisfaction

Dearest Reader,

I believe that those who need the most help are the ones who never mention it. And to me, there's something remarkably comforting about venting to the internet rather than talking to people I know. Because I am growing up in this modern era, which will one day seem like the dark ages to our descendants, I know one must be careful about the information revealed on the web.

There is a strange satisfaction that I'm getting from being the mysterious "My Little One." I am determined to make this blog so cryptic, that my friends, my family, even my roommate won't know I'm the man (or woman?!) behind the curtain. Okay, that was obvious. I'm clearly a female, so that eliminates about 50% of the population. And I've already mentioned I go to college. Welp.

A lot of times when people recognize they need help, they might not know exactly the help they need. There's so many gray areas in terms of help that all the options can seem overwhelming and it's hard to know where to start. This is the point where I'm at in life. What to do? Where to begin?

I know a genie isn't going to jump out of my blog, by I one hundred percent believe that I need to write this for a reason. Maybe you can help.

Smile,
My Little One